Book Nook: Siblings Without Rivarly

So of course I had to read this book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish because I've been on this kick of reading their books. This book made me realize how much I love my siblings and what a great relationship I have with each of them. The first chapter is all about letting your kids let out their bad feelings about each other and just listening to them. Acknowledge their feelings just like with everything else.
They cover comparing (such a touchy subject!). They suggest describing what you see, feel or what can be done instead of comparing. Focus on the behaviors rather than the child. Don't worry about treating each child equally. Focus on individual needs and what is best for each child at the time. When trying to free a child from a role, give attention to the injured party and not the aggressor. I loved the chapter on roles. I think it's so important to not cast children in to roles and it's so hard! I love the tips and tricks they give on freeing your children from roles. Parents have the power to give siblings a new view of each other.
The chapter called "When The Kids Fight" was the big chapter of the book. The one that everything leads up to. What I found interesting was after acknowledging anger, listen to each child's side, show appreciation for the problem, express your faith in their ability to work it out and leave the room. How freeing for the parent to just be able to leave the room. Obviously, don't leave the room if there is danger present. But for little spats it'll be nice to be able to have the kids learn to work it out. There was so much in this chapter but that was just one thing I liked. They lay out how to handle fighting with levels and actions for the parent.
They conclude by explaining how kids need a lot of experiences having good times together so when conflicts arise they have positive memories together.
All in all, a great book. I love these authors and what they teach. I totally can understand and relate to their philosophies.